Is it weird that I have so many different realities and stories for my dolls. Most of them often painful or just downright dark and depressing.
Cailyn really is the best example of this.
I have stories for him where he can be happy. Ones where his parents are still alive and their marriage is perfect. But those aren't real.
Cailyn is not Cailyn without the pain he has gone through, each time I run through it I leave or add bits but it stays the same basic story. He's a loner, bullied and misunderstood who snaps one day and kills his parents. After this, it's all wrapped up in a web of weirdness. In some stories a demon, in others a schizophrenic, or just a kid who was beat down so much in his life that he had to strike back in some way or he would just continue living and rotting away when he was already dead inside by 14.
Sometimes I feel silly for the connection I feel between me and my dolls. They're all mostly shades of loner, bitter and angry for past misdoings. I feel a sense of closeness with them I don't really get anywhere else.
Roy, Lee, and Connor are playful, honest, and very cut and dry. They are my optimists. But even they have the things that hurt them. Connors is the loss of his sister, Lee the loss of his father and his friends. Roy is probably the only one who doesn't have some great trauma.
Lafayette and Cailyn have felt the most pain. They both were betrayed by those they loved and relied most on. They also hurt people they loved. They both have ever lingering feelings of regret and doubt.
Egon is my wall. Strong and silent, someone I wish I could be like.
And Tetty, he's childish, self centered and angry. He has his good points but they tend to be drowned out by the bad. He doesn't know where he stands but he also doesn't care.
... *rests head in my hands* It feels kinda weird to put this all down here but... I just really wanted to share these feelings and see if anyone else has had them.