by SoapBubbles » Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:09 am
I have no idea what this is called in medical terms, but I seem to be extremely sensitive to certain types of noise. For example, if there is a major construction going on near where I live I literally can't sleep properly, get extremely stressed, and begin to show signs of clinical depression within a few days. Even after the source of the noise disappears, the effects remain for about 1-2 weeks.
My mother's shop has a fridge motor that seems to produce these sounds as being in her shop for about an hour makes me feel extremely anxious, stressed, and fatigued. So as much as I want to help her out when she's tired, I have actually pretty much developed a FEAR of going to her shop due to the 'side-effects' I get. Apparently I am an ungrateful and terrible daughter because I don't want to make a an hour's trip to her shop in rainy weather, stand in that fearful environment for 3 hours, make another hour trip back home then drive 2 hours to get back to my university tonight. Up until this year, I used to look after her shop every weekend for around 6 to 12 hours until I really couldn't take it anymore. I don't want to go there anymore. I'm scared to go there now.
I absolutely hate this. I know she loves me and everything, but she doesn't seem to be able to understand just how stressful and painful (psychologically) it actually is for me to just BE THERE in her shop let alone work. I literally feel trapped, anxious, and become VERY stressed when I go there... It just... Sucks. I tried to explain how I feel, but she just doesn't understand why something that doesn't affect her can possibly affect me to such a degree. I don't even know anymore, maybe it really is just me. Am I just going mad..?
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