Dealing with doll hate [WARNING: Lengthy Rant]

[embyquinn]

So by now everyone on this board and a lot of other people know how bonded I am with Cherry. I know very well she's just a doll. She has no feelings to hurt. I like to pretend that she interacts with me, but I know I'm just pretending. Knowing all that, it's still hard to deal with someone who has negative feelings about her.

I live in a house with three other people. My lifemate of three decades and one of our roomies are indifferent to dolls in general, but they both respect my love of dolls and of RiRi in particular. They even joke with me about it from time to time, but always in a loving and respectful way.

Our other roommate, however...*deep sigh*

It's really hard, because this person is supposed to be my best friend. If she were just indifferent, it would be easier to deal with. If she outright hated dolls, period, it would be hard, but still easier to understand.

She's indifferent to dolls in general...and she outright loathes Cherry. I always have RiRi with me when I'm at home, hell, I sleep with her...and if I say word one about her, in my own house, this person rolls her eyes and makes a face and makes some dismissive or cutting remark.

She's made it crystal clear that it's Cherry she hates, not just because she's a doll. I think I understand why--I once had a tabletop character based on RiRi and this person and I ended up having drama over something that happened in game (which, to be fair, was my fault)...but that was years ago and I've long since admitted my guilt and apologized. Sadly, this is a person who never lets things go. Ever.

Ever.

Nor will she talk it out with me. She isn't interested in resolution, or even in agreeing to disagree. She hates my doll and she'll take any opportunity to let me know. All I can do is not talk about my doll in front of her. If I have RiRi out, and I usually do, she won't say anything unless I call attention to my doll in some way. But if I say anything about the doll...eye-roll, head toss, and a grunt of derision if I'm lucky, and a snarky remark if I'm not.

I'm not looking for a solution. There isn't one. She's not going to stop showing her displeasure and I'm not going to play with my doll in a fscking closet. Especially not in my own fscking house. It's something I have to deal with; I just needed to vent.

Thanks, guys. Love you all, me and RiRi both.

[victoriavictrix]

Well I adore both versions of RiRi. So you have a NYT #1 Bestselling fantasy writer who thinks your dolls are adorable, and love the persona and personality you've given them. I thnk this is an excellent way for you to show and exercise your creativity.

If you didn't already know, emby, IRL I am Mercedes Lackey. So if this roommate has any chance of knowing who I am, the next time you get an opportunity just name drop me into the conversation about how much I love your RiRis.

[DollyKim]

I feel you.

Is the complainer jealous of the relationship you have with a doll? Is there something the two of you can do to meet on neutral ground for, starting at, a short period of time and do a mutually agreeable activity? If Cherry comes with can she wait a tote our out of sight so she's there but not there? (I know what it's like to need a companion object)

Does the complainer have a hobby you can encourage in a positive way to give them an example of how to do it?

[Kirahfaye]

I'm so sorry, embyquinn..... I don't have anyone in my life with that degree of dislike for my dolls, but I did experience it quite a lot when a family member, who hates/fears birds, would take every opportunity to be negative and snarky back when I own a cockatoo.

Try to remember that you have a group of friends here who enjoy both you and Cherry. And, maybe it's time to accept that this 'best friend' may really not be, anymore. It seems, to me, that they know what buttons get you going and have no qualms pushing them. //hugs//

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

I have nothing to say except I'm sorry someone who is supposedly your best friend is that intolerant of something you love. Huge virtual hugs for you and RiRi (in both her forms)

[embyquinn]

See, now this one of the things I love most about this forum. Thanks for the totally nonjudgmental support, guys.

This has given me courage to-- well, not "have it out" with K, but try to gently broach the subject and try to find a common ground. I'll keep you posted.

[kenaiqueen]

It must be hard not to be able to relax and be yourself with your dolls in your own home. I hope it works out well for you.

[embyquinn]

Right, so I had a talk with K. I managed not to cause a meltdown, which was good. I think we've come to an accord. I acknowledged her feelings and her right to feel however she felt; she acknowledged that Cherry is very special to me and also admitted I have a perfect right to have her out in my own house or wherever else I wanted--she just doesn't want to interact with her or discuss her. I do have this tendency to chatter about my interests to anyone within earshot, so I'll just have to remember to make a huge exception for her. In return, she will try not to react with open negativity every time she sees the doll.

Best I can hope for, I guess.

[maywong]

I full understand how you feel. I have a friend that hates dolls and think that it's a sickness.

[embyquinn]

I full understand how you feel. I have a friend that hates dolls and think that it's a sickness.

Yeah, there are intolerant and/or willfully ignorant people everywhere. Love of dolls may be uncommon in adults (though not as uncommon as most people think) but it's hardly a recorded illness. You won't find a love for dolls listed as any kind of disorder the DSM-IV. Trust me, I've looked.