by Trethowan » Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:43 pm
Poor little squirrel babies, that makes me so sad. I hope you find a solution soon.
I don't know if I have a sux or not, but I'm in a pissy mood so I want to vent.
1. I'm not stupid.
2. I research baby things on pediatrician-approved web sites, like healthychildren.org.
4. I am a stay at home mom, with my baby 24/7, have the inexplicable motherhood-instinct and darn it, I know my baby!
5. I love my parents. (now you know where this is going.)
6. They haven't raised a baby in 36 years.
7. They don't read, research, or like learning new things that challenge their knowledge base. Seriously, they're the reason old-people stereotypes exist.
8. While I will listen to any advice, I prefer applying advice based on modern science, research, and proven experience.
9. They won't listen to anything, especially modern advice because it offends their grand position of age and experience. "How dare you challenge me?"
10. They definitely won't listen to me, despite #1 and 2.
11. #3 is a mystery that you will never know!!! muahahahaaa....
For six years I listened to them complain about how my sister was raising her child. Nothing was good enough. My parents' chief complaint was that my sister wouldn't listen to them. "She thinks we don't know anything. We raised you girls and you turned out fine." But the problem is that they really don't. I'm not just being a jerk or some know-it-all asshat. They depend solely on "the way we did things then." It seems like everything they do now is born of a prideful, defensive stance. They're entrenched in their viewpoint and refuse to yield and the older they get the meaner, more stubborn, and more angry they get.
You know, all my sister wanted was for the baby to sleep on her back and not put blankets over her. That was it. What did my Mom do? Ignored that and flipped her over on purpose to sleep on her belly AND she swaddled the heck outta that kid with blankets. Big blankets. Heavy blankets. Super fleecy blankets. I call them Death Blankets. Blankets of Suffocation. SIDS-Monsters. We have baby blankets but you can be sure they're NOT in my crib. My favorite is the blue one with the little monkey on it. I love all the monkey stuff!!! Weeeee.... so cute.
Before my son was born, my dad basically told me this. "We're going to do what we want, anyway." "We don't want to set up a crib again (my niece's). He can just sleep on the floor surrounded by pillows, or in the bed with us." And they wonder why I won't send my wee little infant son over to stay at their house. *insert duh here*
I think every parent probably deals with this kind of stuff on some level. It just seems like, with my family, there's no room for discussion. If you attempt a conversation that is civil, with firm but polite requests, they ignore it. If you get more firm, they get offended and still ignore it. If you argue and get angry because you've told 'em a hundred times and they won't listen, they think you're unreasonable. "How dare you question me?"
Oh well. I love them, I'm glad they're still in my life. I just wish they'd calm down and enjoy family time instead of being bitter. I think they feel sidelined, now that their kids are married and have kids. I've a family of my own now, but they still want to be the parent and the one in charge. I can only hope they'll adjust and be happy in the time they have left. I want happy memories of my parents, you know? I don't want to be sitting at a funeral home wishing things had been better.