New Suxs Thread

[MeltedCaramel]

I just wrote to my gramma after about a year and a half. My mom had been bothering me to do it because, this year, I did not get a check from her at christmas time. I figured that she had just written me off. It turns out that was not the case. My dad had sent me a check for christmas and said he hoped I was well. I had thought it was odd because it was so timely; usually I didn't even receive a card from him till well after my birthday or well after christmas... like months. Well it turns out that my gramma can't write as well as she used to, so she had sent the money she had intended for her grandkids to their parents. My dad is the oldest of 9. I am his oldest child and my mom's only child. Well it turns out he had sent the money from my grandmother and made me believe it was from him. I'm not greedy, don't think it's about the money. I used most of it to get my kid some things and then the rest on gas. I thought that he actually had thought about me, all on his own, without any reminders, and sent me something with the sole purpose of making me have a happy holiday, or a happy day... really what he did was he twisted someone else's gift and made it so that I was afraid to talk to any of them. I thought I had done something wrong to my gramma, or that something had happened. Nope... it was just him. To be honest I'm afraid to talk to him. The conversation is always so awkward and he is always talking about the latest thing he is into. He thought I was doing well and tried to sell me in on a pyramid scheme. He kept saying, it's only 10,000 dollars honey. He made me so stressed I lost touch with my gramma who only ever loved me and wanted me to be happy. I swear I wish I was immaculately conceived. I don't even look anything like him. I know I'm wining and I usually don't say anything at all... but this sux and I have found that you guys are so much more understanding and empathetic than just about any other people out there. Why are dads so dumb!

Hey there Myterrah. I'm sorry to hear about your family troubles. I have a similar relationship with my father. He never knew how to be one, coming up with such memorable quotes as "You're supposed to love your children more than your current wife....right?"...This is when things had finally cooled down after a custody battle that almost broke my mother, who I have never once doubted loves me. Needless to say it's a long, impossible story, and I don't want to turn it into being about me, just sharing so that you understand I'm not trying to offer meaningless condolences. I truly understand how frustrating and heartbreaking a relationship...or non relationship can be with a parent, fathers especially. The pain they can inflict is horrendous, even when it sounds like your father just did something incredibly unthinking and stupid. Men come from a different planet entirely. It shocks me what doesn't phase them sometimes. I'm so sorry this happened. Have you thought about talking to your grandmother about it? I'm not suggesting you accuse him, I wouldn't be so arrogant as to assume what your relationship is like with them, but if you feel open enough to you might get some closure by talking with your grandmother and letting her know you miss her as well. All in all, I'm sorry sweetie. I hope your day is looking up though!

[Kirahfaye]

Myterrah, I can commiserate to an extent also. My dad was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic who drank away all his money. After my mom divorced him, he spent the rest of his miserable life trying to get back into my and my sister's good graces (even though he terrified me when I wanted my step-dad to adopt me). She made the mistake of taking him into her home once - until she and her husband discovered he had pawned off some expensive tools and personal items for booze money. He broke her heart and to this day I still think he was part of the reason she took her life the following year.

I was fortunate (as was my mom and sister) that a wonderful man came into our lives and showed us what a true husband and father was like. That helped me, for the most part, to forgive my father after his death. I can't - I won't - forget.

Some people should never be parents, and I'm sorry you seem to have one of them, also. You might want to talk to you grandmother and let her know, in a way that doesn't accuse your dad of deliberately misrepresenting the present, that you received her gift. Perhaps say an apparent "misunderstanding" led you to believe it was from your father, not her. Will he probably skate free of blame? Yeah, but what's more important is your relationship with your grandmother.

As for your dad.... you might want to consider cutting most or all communication with him, if you can. You don't need that kind of stress.

}}hugs{{

[Mirrin]

Feel for you, Myterrah. I have two lousy parents that remarried varying degrees of questionable people. My mom stole money from me to put a down payment on a house once. It was from my grandparents. Our relationship is still kind of sketchy even though I've overlooked a lot to have a relationship with her at all. I know it doesn't help, but you really can't pick your family. I'd say just get in touch with your grandmother. Let her know what's up and that you love her. I feel for you. I've been there. It's really tough. I wish I could make it better for you. Knowing other people went through it too just breaks my heart.

Sometimes I feel like grandparents love can do something to make up for all the crap our parents put us through. I value every moment I had with my grandfather. He was the person that showed me how men are suppose to act and really stepped up to be a parental figure in my life. I wouldn't have turned out near as well as I did if not for his love in my life. I still believe my grandmother is is the most beautiful, amazing, cool, talented, wonderful person I ever met. I can only hope to be half the person she is. Just don't miss out on letting her know you love her.

[MeltedCaramel]

.....Guys, is it horrible that all of these parent problems legitimately make me want to cry in a corner? I consider myself pretty thick skinned, but Jesus Christ. I want to hug everyone and then go sob somewhere. I hope everyone has found that ray of sunshine in their life in at least one special person. Nobody needs to feel unwanted like that.

[knittnkitten]

I had a huge fight with my mom that ended up with me slamming the door and driving off. back home at least and we're sort of on speaking terms. but really, did I have to tell her I'd be home on my usual time if I told her the only day I would be late was the day before?

[Myrretah]

I'm touched. I really am. I had already written to my gramma and just said that, he hadn't indicated that what he sent was from her so I had though that it was from him. If anything I made it sound like it was my mistake. I don't know how accepting she will be of me. Between my dad and my Ex, I have pretty much had my fill of men... so am in a very loving healthy relationship with a woman, who I met through this hobby, to be honest. I don't know what I'd do without here. I would have certainly been a ridiculous miserable mess, that's for sure.

This is just the latest thing from my dad and I only got frustrated because I should have expected it. I mean what was I thinking, yanno? I have noticed that a lot of creative people have had issues in their family. Perhaps it is because of the difference in our personalities or... I don't know. I have never viewed my own child as a mealticket or anything other than an amazing little man. I miss him so much. My ex doesn't know how lucky he is, and for mare than the money I send which is all he seems to care about. I desperately hope that Damon doesn't have the same issues with his dad. I only stayed for as long as I did to try to make them have a good relationship and be a wall for Damon, to protect him from his dad's temper. Gha silly fears. The kid is very cunning and I equipped him with all the tools he needed to be alright, I know this. Once more my own daddy issues rear their ugly head to cast a shadow upon my child. Thank you melted Caramel. I have read everything that you posted and I'm sorry it has taken this topic for me to reply. Our first corrospondance should have been over cheekbones and eyes and how to carve into something without fear instead of how we would like to carve parts of our past away even though we are so desperately aware that it is what makes us the strong people that we are now, so we couldn't change a thing. Kirahfay, that's the worst. Alcoholism is truely horrible because you can see, underneath all the waste, what that person could be in the moments when they come back to themselves. It is a vicious cycle of depression that is fueled by a depressant. My mom wa with someone like that and he would go cold turkey from time to time when she threatened to leave, be the sweetest most caring person, and then right back to it when he thought he was out of danger. It's not right, and even more hurtful when it is someone that you love. Mirrin thank you for your kind thoughts. My gramma is a crazy lady. She flew airplanes until she had a stroke, than got right back up and flew them some more until her vision started to go a bit. I don't have a single bad memory with her in it. She and my grampa are just very warm people. I hope I hear back from her soon. I haven't told anyone on that side of the family really anything, just kinda stayed out of touch and lost, when things started to go sour between me and my ex... so they have no idea about Okami, my girlfriend. The way I see it, I am happy and if they really love me then, they will be too. Kae, I hope things get better for you. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that.

[MeltedCaramel]

Myrretah

Thank you melted Caramel. I have read everything that you posted and I'm sorry it has taken this topic for me to reply. Our first corrospondance should have been over cheekbones and eyes and how to carve into something without fear instead of how we would like to carve parts of our past away even though we are so desperately aware that it is what makes us the strong people that we are now, so we couldn't change a thing.

<----Hey, no problem sweetheart. Truth be told watching you and Okami tearing into your dolls and creating such beautiful modifications and faceups gave me the courage to finally take my dremel to my pesky plastic problem's arms, and I'm going to build what I took off back up into fully modified foreams, leaving the handsculpts alone but bringing apoxie up to the elbows for a prettier transition. I don't think I would have had the guts to do it if I didn't see your in progress pictures where you take dolls apart and bring out the beauty you saw in your mind's eye. I would have left it alone and been unhappy with it instead of knee deep in a project that I find fun. As for carving our pasts...like you mentioned, despite the harsh reality of many of our lives in the past, I think that's what makes us so determined in the present, what keeps us going strong. Life is worth nothing when you give up.

I'm so glad it sounds like you worked things out with your grandmother. Her life sounds extraordinary. We can learn so much from sitting and having a heart to heart with a relative. Oftentimes our relatives have sources of untapped strength and resiliency that we'd never discover if we didn't go looking for it.

Last but not least, I am so happy that you and Okami are so happy together. It makes me so happy whenever I see two people so obviously in love. <33

[Qrinta]

More of an annoyance really. Was worried about doll package coming before we left town but of course it came while I was at work instead. Should have bugged my brother to answer the door but he works graves and needs the sleep. So now dollieh won't be delivered til Monday. Too bad it isn't the post office where I could just pop in and pick it up. No idea where UPS keeps your packages til they decide to deliver again.


Also, hugs all around for everyone! I hope everything works out. ^__^

[DollyKim]

Call UPS and ask if you can pick it up at the warehouse. They have local hubs where the stuff for your area ships out from. The worst of course is they'll say no.

[SpiralPrince]

So I've finally given in to all of my moms bit-...uh.....helpful encouragement and quitting my smoking. Unfortunately this also coincides with with a special diet my doctor has given me, effectively banning me from most sweets, sodas, fried foods, and burgers. At least that is if I don't want to suffer agonizing chest pains and indigestion. You think when something is partially caused by stress the last thing you would want to do is raise your stress level..... *crumples* I want a cigarette.