by Trethowan » Thu Aug 01, 2013 1:40 am
I can see that. Being agreeable about something that isn't definite is totally different than facing the reality of it. We can say we're OK with the idea of a thing but when it actually happens our attitudes can shift dramatically. And of course weddings can be horrifically stressful to plan and I imaging siblings trying to plan such huge events in the same year would be really stressful, especially if parents are footing the bill. If there are greater chances of overlap I could see how your sister might fear a loss of resources, time, and attention.
Most weddings take at least 8 months of planning, though I managed mine in six months. Barely. August is right around the corner. If you just now got engaged, I can't imagine you'd even be ABLE to have a wedding before February at the earliest, much less do it this year. It takes at least 5 months to get your dress altered, most bakeries book eight months in advance for cakes, and the same goes for available quality florists, caterers, bands, DJs, photographers, and locations. Even with six months to plan the only locations that could hold my guests were all booked up. I literally had ONE choice and I didn't even choose the weekend, the location's availability chose the weekend for me. It was the ONLY time they were available and that was my own church which wasn't my first choice cause I had wanted to serve champagne.
If she came first (schedule wise) it makes sense that she might naturally waffle between being happy for you and being jealous that you're potentially overshadowing her own upcoming wedding. How far apart are the weddings you're planning? If she's still a few months out then it sounds like you guys are practically scheduled back to back. Honestly that's not cool. My sister would have killed me if I tried to have my wedding so close to hers. Neither sibling would be able to devote herself to her getting-married sister cause they're both too busy being brides to help out, the parents might not have the time or resources to handle two weddings in one year, friends and family might be taxed in providing time, gifts, and showers to two in one year. The throwing of showers can be quite expensive, and honestly it seems catty but it's the Bride's time. Having to share the spotlight with another bride-to-be would suck.
I would not want to get married within months of my sister. It just isn't cool and it's not something I'd come around to.