Have to agree. When your mom throws a fit just lock yourself in your room and avoid her. You're an adult. If you're unhappy with your situation, you've only got yourself to blame for never standing up for yourself and allowing her to control your life. Take a stand and change things, or not. But I'm afraid I don't have much sympathy for you.
I know a girl whose parents controlled every aspect of her life. She grew up being unable to think for herself or stand up for herself. She even married a guy they told her she should marry. She WANTED to marry someone else that they didn't approve of, but they talked her out of it and said marry THIS guy, he'd be a good husband. So she did. And her mother had some grudge against me due to an incident years before in which I would NOT allow her to control ME, so she told this girl "Don't invite her to the wedding." So she didn't. Even though we were friends.
Long story short, in the end she still isn't free because her husband is an abusive asshole who moved her to another state to separate her from everyone she knows, and because her family "doesn't believe in divorce", she won't leave his sorry ass. Even though she has a couple of kids now, even for their sakes she won't leave. And I think it's because she's too scared to try and make it on her own (or to move back with her parents). She won't know how to live by herself, without anyone telling her what to do. I really expect her story is going to end in tragedy someday, either for herself or her kids. Frankly, I just want to smack her parents upside the head and yell, "It's all YOUR fault, you morons! Do something about it!"
Anyway, sorry for the tangent. I just thought that was a good example of what happens when children grow up under the thumb of their parents, and won't even try to stand on their own. After what happened to her, complaining about a haircut seems like no big deal in comparison.