Dollieh Sanctuary

Is it weird that I have so many different realities and stories for my dolls. Most of them often painful or just downright dark and depressing.
Cailyn really is the best example of this.
I have stories for him where he can be happy. Ones where his parents are still alive and their marriage is perfect. But those aren't real.
Cailyn is not Cailyn without the pain he has gone through, each time I run through it I leave or add bits but it stays the same basic story. He's a loner, bullied and misunderstood who snaps one day and kills his parents. After this, it's all wrapped up in a web of weirdness. In some stories a demon, in others a schizophrenic, or just a kid who was beat down so much in his life that he had to strike back in some way or he would just continue living and rotting away when he was already dead inside by 14.

Sometimes I feel silly for the connection I feel between me and my dolls. They're all mostly shades of loner, bitter and angry for past misdoings. I feel a sense of closeness with them I don't really get anywhere else.

Roy, Lee, and Connor are playful, honest, and very cut and dry. They are my optimists. But even they have the things that hurt them. Connors is the loss of his sister, Lee the loss of his father and his friends. Roy is probably the only one who doesn't have some great trauma.

Lafayette and Cailyn have felt the most pain. They both were betrayed by those they loved and relied most on. They also hurt people they loved. They both have ever lingering feelings of regret and doubt.

Egon is my wall. Strong and silent, someone I wish I could be like.

And Tetty, he's childish, self centered and angry. He has his good points but they tend to be drowned out by the bad. He doesn't know where he stands but he also doesn't care.

... *rests head in my hands* It feels kinda weird to put this all down here but... I just really wanted to share these feelings and see if anyone else has had them.

I think having pain is part of being a person and if your characters were all perfect with perfect lives they wouldn't be worth a shit, pardon my French. Life is rocky, even in the fictional world, and our characters need to realize that to have an "inner life." That being said, I feel that, from what you've written, you feel as if you've maybe done wrong by them in some respects, or that it reflects poorly on your character; if you feel this way, maybe you could look for ways for your dolls characters to find redemption or hope in their lives. Things like finding someone more vulnerable they could care for or having them turn to art, writing, etc. I hope this helps, and that I haven't completely misunderstood what you are trying to say.

yarwel wrote:I think having pain is part of being a person and if your characters were all perfect with perfect lives they wouldn't be worth a shit, pardon my French. Life is rocky, even in the fictional world, and our characters need to realize that to have an "inner life." That being said, I feel that, from what you've written, you feel as if you've maybe done wrong by them in some respects, or that it reflects poorly on your character; if you feel this way, maybe you could look for ways for your dolls characters to find redemption or hope in their lives. Things like finding someone more vulnerable they could care for or having them turn to art, writing, etc. I hope this helps, and that I haven't completely misunderstood what you are trying to say.

No I feel as if you did a good job of kind of clarifying things for me. I feel that Connors involvement with Cailyn is going to be good for both of them. I really like the Dynamic I have set up for their relationship, which will show up a lot in future photostories. I'm thinking about what to do with Lafayette and Tetty though, they aren't the type to admit there are problems. Lees best friend will be joining our little family sometime in the near future and that will help some with him. I wish I had more money because I think Lafayette needs his sister sometimes.

Strife makes stories go 'round, no one wants happy and boring all the time. Now if it's always the same or similar things you might want to branch out for your own sanity but stories are a good way to work things out.

I also think it's a phase a lot of people go through to explore these things.

I have started to realize that my dolls all seem to be different fractions of my personality in solid form.
and things I didnt have growing up like a loving family.
My bf wants them all to be happy and gentle and discourages anything else...
But I am exploring different avenues, deeper more personal ones...
No one is all happy-happy-joy-joy all the time- we all suffer from depression and anger issues.
Maybe I am wrong but I cannot help but see these things in my dolls.
I have said outloud 'I Love you guys!"
Even had a dream that Atrus and Riven were standing guard over me, weapons in hand.
Strange to feel so close to them, I understand completely.

I think writing stories is a great way to explore our feelings about particular situations in our lives. It allows us to come to terms with certain realities that we are facing which can be troubling and confusing. I write a lot of poems. My poetry is a way for me to communicate with myself and allows me to accept certain emotions within me with a certain type of clarity. Sometimes I write about myself from my dolls perspective which can be frightening. I wish I could say I was a kind, loving, helpful person who uses reason to analyze problems. But sometimes I find I cant say too many nice things about myself because of the way I have behaved or the attitude I've presented. Sometimes I can be a monster. Other times she (My Luna) helps me realize that I am being too hard on myself and its OK to let things go. Either way, you should feel confident writing as many stories or realities as you want because its all about exploring your psyche.