Dollieh Sanctuary

soooo, as there is heaven, so is there hell. as there is good, so is there evil. as there is Den of Angels, so is there Den of Demons.

I don't much care for Den of Demons, I'll be up front about that. I find it to be mostly full of immature people who go out of their way to be as offensive as possible solely because they can be. It's a place to flame, be rude, and outside of giving people a place to do those things I haven't found it to have a lot of value to the doll community.

Yes, I do have a membership there. I never post and seldom lurk but I maintain it so I can make sure people like Roxy and Theodoric aren't bad mouthing this place behind our backs. So far so good.

On the other hand, once up on a time several months ago, a member of this forum linked me to posts made there by another member of this forum. In those posts that person was not just blatantly insulting the beginner level faceup skills of someone here - but even mentioning this forum and the victim by name.

That pisses me off. In fact, it pissed me off so badly I had to get off the computer and go do something else for several hours because my immediate urge was to send a PM to the perpetrator telling them to get the hell off of this forum and never come back.

I didn't do it. I didn't because there is something in this country called Freedom of Speech that (most of the time) allows people to say whatever they want. Because I run this forum I can, if I want, tell people what they may or may not say. This is something I try very very hard to never do unless extreme circumstances call for it. But I can't control what people here do or say outside of this forum about this forum or it's members.

On the other hand, I can ask, and ask politely, that if you feel the need to bash someone from this forum for their lack of artistic skill, bad spelling, bad photos or whatever you perceive to be wrong with them - do it privately in a PM, in an email, maybe on your blog - but not in another doll forum where that person might see it and definitely not in Den of Demons where you are setting them up to be mocked by others. And if you are going to do it have the decency to leave their name, and the name of this forum, out of the public posting. Because anyone who wants to come here just to "check out something bad" we don't really want here at all.

Please don't PM me asking who said what about whom, when, where and why. First off I actually don't remember, at this time the names. I gave myself plenty of time to forget so it wont' do any good. To be honest, I don't recall who alerted me to this either. Those names aren't important anyway - it's the idea, to me at least, of publically backstabbing someone from one forum in another that is the issue I'm raising here.

So, thanks for reading my rant if you did

I've been with this community for 6+ years and I love the JS/DS folks so much.

However, I browse Den of Demons every day with a nice cup of coffee and snark. I mean, yeah, Den of Demons can be incredibly hurtful for being brutal, but I find the forum an interesting read because they're very upfront about issues (such as the Bad Sellers Threads and such, who are more quick to pick up on scammers than a more insulated DoA) and they're actually helpful in a "we're brutally honest" kind of way.

They keep all of that within their own forum unless some scamming and obvious illegal activity is happening (like that Minj schatje artist rip off). They don't go about antagonising anyone outside of their forums and often reprimand members who do. I dunno, they also go out of their way, often selflessly to comfort their own members and try to be there for each other, so they're not really the heartless bitches some people would say.

I understand it's not for everyone, but I certainly don't think it's the end all negativity and evuuuuuuuul of the doll fandom either.

I joined Den of Demons back before I knew about this place but learned I could not discuss my girls in another forum I'd recently joined. I appreciated their intended honesty, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, so I just stopped going. I haven't given them another thought since.

My personal rules.
1. Never say anything to anyone that I wouldn't say to their face. Hiding behind a user name on a computer is lame.
2. Be civil.
3. If I can't say anything nice, I generally won't say anything at all. It's so much better to walk away than to start a flame war or seem like a jerk.
4. I keep most opinions to myself. Unless someone wants and asks for my opinion, or if its a part of a discussion (like this one, where opinions are asked). Even so, there are ways to say negative things with tact and grace.

I have found that social interactions almost always run more smoothly following this code of online social conduct. In the end, people don't care what others think. They care about what they think, and in general they're just looking for agreement or validation. It's like politics and religion. People are going to think what they're going to think, and no amount of discussion is going to get anywhere. Neither side is going to convince the other into agreement. Maybe I'm lazy, but I find it easier and more peaceful to avoid those kinds of discussions in life.

I've never been to Den of Demons. Don't plan on ever going. Doesn't sound too nice. I have a DoA account but I'm not overly active there. I joined in the Granado Waiting Room but not much else. The forum is too big and I'm a Junky girl at heart. I love JS and DS. They are both wonderful communities I'm proud to be a part of, and they offer safe places to share dolls, posts, and stories.

Wow, I never even knew a place like that existed. I have a twisted curiousty to hunt the place down just to see, but i fear seeing some of my early doll work on there. I knew there were people who could be unreasonably mean at in the world (especially the internet) but it never really crossed my mind anyone in the doll community would stoop to that kind of level. I mean, I figured some elitism but not being out right mean to anyone who was new. o_O

Wow, never heard of it. I guess I haven't missed much.

Sounds kind of like a doll version of 4chan.....

victoriavictrix wrote:Sounds kind of like a doll version of 4chan.....

DoD only wishes it was that cool.

I have an account at DoD, but I almost never go there. It's too snarky and confrontational for me, and trust me, that's saying something.