Getting Though the Next Couple of Weeks UPDATE 2/20

[Kirahfaye]

My mom continues to decline rapidly. Even she is aware of it - when she can focus more normally. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared. I'm scared about a lot of things: from finances to treatment to the impact on my family. (My mom made a very upsetting, and false, claim over the weekend that stems from a hallucination or vivid dream that could put a family member in serious jeopardy.) Just 2 weeks ago I would have told you she had a good year until this started. I don't see it going back to how it was at this point.

We took her to the ER on Saturday because she was acting erratic and we were concerned she could have had a mini stroke. All of the tests came back negative, but she had a episode there where she was frantically yanking at the rings too small to get over her knuckles and the doctor ended up giving her a sedative to calm her. Yesterday was very bad, although by nightfall she was better - kind of the opposite of what I understand about "sundowning". I've begun to senior proof the house. I've put door handle covers on the front door and the pantry. Last night she insisted on trying to give one of our dogs snacks even after she was told not to. I literally had to move her away from the pantry door. I also have cabinet locks to install.

I can't get in to see the elder care lawyer until next week or her neurologist until this Friday. We have an appt for a second opinion on her colon surgery in 2 weeks. I'm terrified of having her go through surgery and having anesthesia. Not going through it means continuing and probably increasing pain and bleeding as well as worsening incontinence...

Anyway, I appreciate being able to vent a little here.

[kenaiqueen]

I'm so sorry this is all happening. It sounds like your appointments will at least give you some pointers on how to proceed. Sending you many good thoughts and vibes. *hugs!*

[Stormlight]

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I really hope things ease out and get a little better for you. Losing a parent is always hard, but it must be so much harder to watch them decline like this.

[richila]

{{{HUGS}}}

[Iwa_Hoshi]

*hugs
Please take care.

[maywong]

Hugs!

[SetsunaKou]

Oh, KirahFaye-san! :hugs: I can imagine how hard it is for you right now---in every way. :cries:

Please know, I'll be praying for you, your mom, and your whole family! God bless you!!

[victoriavictrix]

I know how hard this is for you.

I also know that given the choice between this and the way my mother died (unexpectedly, and I never got a chance to say goodbye), I'd take this.

[Kirahfaye]

Thanks to all of you. Yesterday was so hard I was barely on the computer the entire day. I really don't think I can survive too many days like that. Dementia isn't of the devil - it IS the devil. She was so difficult and mean, even, that I was nearly in tears and honestly, quite angry, much of the day.

This afternoon we see the neurologist. She's having a good morning and I'm not sure if I'm happy or disappointed.... I want him to see her as she's been the past couple of weeks, but I'm also so emotionally worn out and stressed, that I'm grateful for the "normal" moments. It could be Ms. Hyde by the time we get home.

Oh, and I have been keeping a journal of sorts over the past couple of weeks to show the doctor. Plus my daughter has her appt so if he wants confirmation, she and her partner can add their experiences, too.

[Kirahfaye]

Annnd - as we were locking the door to get into the car for the appt, I got a call from their office that their computers were down and we needed to reschedule our appts to next week.

Naturally, as soon as my mom got settled back in her room she started having tremors. I got approval to get her another 1/2 of the pill she takes for tremors, but she keeps begging to go to the hospital. It's not a emergency so I'm not taking her. This. Is. So. Hard.