Oh well, another cool thing ruined by reality...
A bike here would be even more dangerous than walking. No bike lanes, no sidewalks, no crosswalks, and an interstate offramp and truck stop for semis close enough to be dangerous. I actually have a bicycle... I just don't really have anywhere to ride it.
I did add the little scooter thing to my amazon wishlist. I'll probably never get one, but it would be nice to at least be able to slip out to Walmart (too far to walk to) at about 1-2 am when there's no traffic.
As for everything else, I guess I'll just keep trying to find ways to have stuff delivered. Luckily there are a lot more places that do that these days than there used to be.